As someone with a deep appreciation for Lifetime original movies, I never want to dissuade the network from making more of them. However, with "The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story" airing this weekend, the time has come to ask: Can we maybe stop with these "unauthorized" movies about mediocre '90s TV shows?
It seemed like a great idea at first. The concept started last fall with “The Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story,” followed by “The Unauthorized Full House Story” this past August and “The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story” last weekend. There’s no better time then now, when ’90s nostalgia is at its peak.
But here’s a visual representation of how many people watched those three film premieres (measured by total viewers in millions):
That’s about 1.6 million viewers for the first two and 654,000 for “Beverly Hills, 90210.” Still, besides the ratings freefall, it’s really time to wrap up this franchise. Here’s why:
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There’s a ton of build-up, leading to an inevitable let-down.
The Internet lost its mind when the network first announced the “Saved By the Bell” movie. Especially given that it was based on the semi-disturbing tell-all from Dustin Diamond (Screech, of course).
Though as with anything that comes with high expectations, the hype leads to disappointment, especially for a franchise that is inevitably going to be extremely cheesy. There’s no way these movies could live up to what you hoped would happen.
Nothing “unauthorized” turns out to be that exciting.
Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth didn't get along on the "Beverly Hills, 90210" set! Bob Saget was embarrassed that his Danny Tanner character was so lame! Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Amber Thiessen and Lark Voorhies were kind of in a real-life love triangle on "Saved By the Bell!" Yeah, we kind of knew all that already. And since it's already an "unauthorized" movie, legally, Lifetime has to walk a careful legal line.
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"The movies are not about throwing anyone under the bus or unearthing some scandalous story," a Lifetime executive told Flavorwire. "It's telling the stories of how they came together and what happened behind the scenes." All together now: Sigh. How disappointing.
Share this articleShareIt’s kind of creepy to see other actors playing the original cast.
According to the New York Times, Lifetime executives were excited about nostalgic movies after its "Flowers in the Attic" adaptation got 6 million viewers, a gigantic number for cable. Of course, "Flowers in the Attic" is a book — and people are always going to be curious about literary adaptations, and how someone else visualizes characters that they only know in their imagination.
So when you get the visual of new, unknown actors pretending to be your beloved characters from, say, “Full House” (above)...it’s actually a little creepy. Not to mention the horrifying promo images that look like slightly melted wax figures of the original cast. Plus, for the most part, the original actors are, well, still alive — and not that much older then when they filmed the show. It’s just strange to see their doppelgangers.
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Bringing more attention to the shows just reminds us how bad they were in the first place.
As discussed, '90s TV nostalgia is more about a place and time rather than the actual quality of a show. Just watching these movies not only makes you cringe because they are ridiculous, and instead you recall how maybe "Full House" wasn't the laugh riot you once thought...and wow, the "Beverly Hills, 90210" drama was bad.
That’s not to say we won’t watch “Melrose Place” movie on Saturday — on the contrary, we need to see if they show the infamous scene where Marcia Cross takes off her wig as Kimberly. But after this one, it’s time to admit that while this may have been a good idea in theory and even practice at the star, the unauthorized movies also threaten to weaken ’90s nostalgia that a lot of people still enjoy. So let’s agree it’s time to wrap it up, and as tempting as an “Unauthorized Boy Meets World Story” movie seems, it’s really not necessary.
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